Your new normal after breast cancer treatment

TOPICS

Emotional wellbeing and mental health

While most people, their families and friends look forward to the end of hospital-based treatment, many also struggle with the concept of 'getting back to normal'.

Major events in life can change you. Many people say their attitude towards life, particularly what's important in life, change after cancer. This does not mean life is any better or worse - just different. You may have lost some things and gained others.

Adjustments to the way your body may have changed due to treatments can take some time. Weight gain or loss, changes in your hair or scars from surgery can affect how you feel about your body.

It may take a while to develop your "new normal" and this is different for everyone. Some people want to move on and forget about their cancer experience, while others need time to make sense of it in their lives.

Managing the expectations of those around you

Now that your hospital-based treatment is finished, your partner, family, friends and work colleagues may expect things to go back to how they were before you had breast cancer. However, your 'new normal' may be very different from your 'old normal'. While some of the people around you may understand that, others may feel frustrated and disappointed.

It can take a while for those around you to adjust to the ways in which you have changed. They may have changed too, and this could take a while to get used to. You might find that family, friends and others who helped while you were having active treatment (i.e. surgery, chemotherapy and/or radiotherapy) now stand back because they assume you are 'back to normal'. They may not be aware of the long term side effects of your treatment or that permanent changes to your ability to do certain things may have occurred.

Talking to the people closest to you about what you can and can’t do now, and what you may no longer want to do, will be important so that there are no misunderstandings.

For example, you might not be as energetic as you used to be and struggle to keep up with the demands of your life before cancer. You might need to explain that you are still recovering and that you need their continued support. This might mean re-negotiating chores around the home if you share your home with a partner and/or children, or asking your friends and neighbours to do small things you find helpful.

Most people are not aware that cancer treatment can cause long-term side effects like fatigue. Once they know, they almost always want to help you wherever they can.

Cancer has helped me re-evaluate what's important. I have discarded the negatives. I endeavour to make the most of life – being involved with others, but also ensuring there is space for me.

Ruth

Looking after yourself

When the whirlwind of tests, medical appointments and hospital visits begins to settle, you may start looking for ways to keep yourself healthy.

Looking after yourself emotionally and physically will not only help your body recover from treatment but can also help to improve your energy levels and keep your emotions in balance. Regular exercise and a good diet can play an important part in your recovery.

Not everyone experiences ongoing physical or emotional effects after breast cancer treatment has ended, but reading about them could help you to understand some of the things that may be happening to you.

It's also important to recognise that your emotions may continue to fluctuate - sometimes for no reason at all. You can feel great for a couple of months and then be hit hard out of the blue. Sometimes there might be something that triggers this - such as a friend being diagnosed or reading about a celebrity who has been diagnosed - but other times you might have a change in your mood for no apparent reason.

If you find that you have ongoing feelings of stress or anxiety, discuss this with a member of your treating team or GP. They may suggest that you could benefit from some counselling.

Acknowledge what you've lost and spend time grieving. There is a time when you will be ready to move on... Be kind to yourself.

Liz

Body image

Body image is important to our emotional wellbeing. While some people adjust quickly to their new body, others find it hard to come to terms with the changes.

It's important to remember that these feelings are normal , and it can take some time, even years for some people to adjust to their changed body.

Tips for dealing with a change in body image

The following tips may help you to come to terms with changes to your body and body image.

Include regular exercise in your week - studies show that people who exercise regularly have a better body image and higher self-esteem.
Wear clothes that make you feel good.
Consider being fitted for a bra and/or prosthesis by a professional fitting service - they can help you find bras, active wear and swim wear to suit your needs.
Be kind to yourself - accept that breast cancer and its treatment will cause changes to your body.
Examine your "new body" in the mirror and take time to be comfortable with it.
Do things that make you feel good, such as having a massage or taking a long relaxing bath.
Talk to your GP, breast care nurse or a psychologist if you are having trouble coming to terms with the changes to your body.
Take your time - it won't happen overnight, so give yourself time and space to accept your new body.

Connecting with others

Keeping connected with others who have been through breast cancer can be a good way to help manage your emotions after treatment is finished. They have been through a similar experience to yours, and can empathise with your feelings.

BCNA's Online Network is one way to connect with others.