Understanding the things that aren’t helpful can give you more confidence to talk with your colleague about their diagnosis.
When speaking with your colleague, try to avoid:
- telling them they will be fine – it can seem like you’re downplaying the seriousness of the situation
- saying they are strong – this can make them feel like they have to be brave all the time
- discussing the latest cure or treatment you’ve heard about
expressing your own fears or worries – remember this is about them, not you
- talking about other people with cancer
- suggesting lifestyle changes e.g. diet, physical activity
- clichés e.g. ‘There must be a reason for this’, ‘Everything will be fine’ or ‘You look great’
- using the phrase ‘Be positive’
- making assumptions about what they can and can’t do
- asking too many questions or avoiding the person altogether
- asking inappropriate questions such as ‘Were you a smoker?’ or ‘Is it in your family?’
- saying, ‘It’s great it’s all over’ after their treatment finishes – they will still require support after treatment.