Coping with emotions after diagnosis

It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions when you are told you have breast cancer. There’s no rule for how you should feel, or how to manage these emotions – it’s different for everyone.

Help and support are available to you.

Many of the ideas on this page have been suggested by people diagnosed with breast cancer. They share what they found helpful during their own experience.

There are also lots of options if you need professional help.

How you may feel

Feelings of distress and anxiety are common following a diagnosis.

You may find yourself worrying and feeling scared about what is ahead for you. If you have a partner or family, you may also be concerned about how they are feeling.

At first, your brain may be so busy you find it hard to sleep. This can make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions.

What people have told us is that making changes and planning ahead gives them a sense of control. We have practical advice for Getting through the first few weeks.

Things you can do to help manage emotions

If you feel as if you can’t think about anything except your breast cancer, we have some strategies that can help. Many of these are ideas our members have shared with us.

• Write a list of questions for your healthcare team to help reduce your stress.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help or to accept help when people offer.
• Put yourself first. If it helps, screen your phone calls or choose someone to be the main contact for you.
• Choose who you want to see and when. Some people start a blog or group email to keep family and friends up-to-date so they don't have to tell everyone individually.
• Ask to see a breast care nurse. Breast care nurses are registered nurses, trained to support people with breast cancer. They can help you find your way through the health system and can be a regular point of contact. Find a breast care nurse.
• Take time out. Do things you enjoy and say no to activities you don’t feel up to doing. Give yourself a 'cancer-free' day.
• Spend time with people who make you feel good.
• Talk about your emotions, which can help you process how you’re feeling. 
• A good night’s sleep helps you to cope better both physically and emotionally. For help, read about ways to improve sleep.
• Exercise when you can. Regular exercise has enormous benefits to health and wellbeing. It can also help to make you feel less anxious, stressed or depressed.
• Try relaxation or meditation to help keep your emotions in balance.

Where to find support

When you are diagnosed with breast cancer, support from family, friends, neighbours and other people can help you cope.

Or you may want to talk to someone who isn’t so emotionally involved in your life, such as a health professional. They can help you clarify your feelings and deal with issues brought up by your diagnosis and treatment.

Support is available in many places – such as online, with a professional or in a group with others.

It’s important to seek out help when you feel you need it.

Talk to your GP

GPs are often a good place to start and can refer you to a psychologist or counsellor. They can also write a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan to reduce the cost of professional help.  

Find support groups around Australia

Our Service Finder has groups, counsellors and other services you may need during treatment. This includes:

• face-to-face support groups that usually meet regularly
• specialised groups, such as groups for young women or for LGBTIQ+, or groups are more social or active (such as dragon boating)
• language or culture-specific groups in some areas.

It also lists other services you may need during treatment and beyond, such as mastectomy bras, lymphoedema support, wigs and headwear.

Other ways to find support groups:

• Ask your breast care nurse, doctor or social worker.
• Contact Cancer Council for help to find a group near you.

Connect with others online or by phone

Our Helpline team is available on 1800 500 258 and can connect you with support.

BCNA’s Online Network is a place where people share their experiences and offer support. You can share your situation if you choose to. This can be particularly helpful for people in rural and remote areas and people who or don’t enjoy face-to-face support.

Cancer Connect program is the Cancer Council's free telephone support service. It connects you with a volunteer who has had a similar breast cancer experience.

Cancer Council also has a free, confidential telephone service – 13 11 20. They can refer you to emotional and practical assistance across Australia. Call Mon-Fri 9am-5pm or leave a message and a specialist health professional will contact you.

Access professional counselling and psychology

Different health professionals may be able to help you explore strategies for dealing with upsetting thoughts and emotions.

This could be:

• your general practitioner (GP)
• a breast care or oncology nurse
• a social worker
• a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Find out how to access Psychology and counselling support.

Build a support network

The love and support of family, friends and colleagues usually forms an important part of the emotional healing process. It can help to share your feelings with people you trust.

Being honest and open with family and friends can be difficult. But it will help them to understand that it’s okay to talk about your breast cancer and how everyone feels.

Encourage them to find out how they can support you: Caring for someone.

Follow a self-help program

Cancer Mind Care is a free online self-help program. It provides tailored mental health support for people with cancer and their supporters and clinicians. This Australian program includes tips and resources on dealing deal with anxiety, depression, stress management, fear of recurrence, grief and more.

Finding My Way is another Australian online self-help program to help people recently diagnosed with any type of cancer. It aims to give you the skills to improve your physical and mental wellbeing during treatment. The program is a mix of online activities, quizzes, relaxation/meditation, and personal note-making.

People share their experiences

Find out how a diagnosis has affected other people and what helped them feel supported. 

• Support following a diagnosis of breast cancer
• Breast cancer and your family
• Communicating with family and friends